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July 9, 2007 by Polly Styrene
Random ramblings on any subject that enters my head.
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hey polly - can’t believe i haven’t been here before - i get stuck on my familiar track of reclusive leftist - sparks and witchy and have insufficient imagination to visit fresh (albeit occasionally cowpatty) fields.
also my time is severely limited with the approach of law exams (late entrant to vile profession…
but i shall be back and i shall slag off that old fraud (freud) lacan…
fab blog
Welcome to my nightmare SW, feel free to join in the ‘mother wars’. Your comment got caught in spam for some reason and I’ve just rescued it. Sadly I had to leave Gargi’s post about Stalin in there, but just for information Gargi, Stalin wasn’t a communist. The former USSR practised state capitalism and Stalin was a dictator.
Oh and SW - The Cow is your guide to passing Law Exams the easy way. Don’t do all that foolish sitting around the library until they chuck you out reading the collected thoughts of Lord Denning.
The Cow guide to passing Law Exams
1) Get all past papers out of the library
2) Buy HLT books (everyone disses them but they are the condensed bare bones which is what you need to know).
3) Identify topics that are likely to crop up (fairly predictable) from past papers and swot up the key cases from HLT books
4) Do the ‘problem’ questions “X has just murdered his wife but is drunk” rather than the essay questions, because it’s obvious what they’re getting at if you’ve followed steps 1-3.
5) Never reach a conclusion - ‘on the one hand the Jury may find X guilty, but if we follow the reasoning in “R v Cowblog” on the other hand’ - you need to put both sides of the argument
6) Sit back and enjoy being top of the class, just like Cowblog.
Ah, the lazy way to pass exams, I like it.
I had my own experiment on this for economics. Took six whole (maybe not even whole) pages of notes for the whole year, about an hour’s revision the night before the exam, (but contrary to the above example) passed brilliantly on the essay questions and was a bit poor on the short answer questions. The latter being the real test of if you knew the facts (which I didn’t), the former being a test of whether or not you could bullshit (or indeed, cowshit) your way through longwinded essays that threw in lots of economic terms, that probably made no sense whatsoever.
My greatest victory in cowshitting.
I shudder at the stupidity of that economics lecturer.
FFS, I was only a teen.
I once passed an economics exam at University without even taking it* - I take your bullshit and raise you ‘not taking the exam at all’.
Yes it’s the exam bullshitting olympics.
Ok I missed it, it was an introductory exam, I’d been ill and was top at everything else and had passed all the essays. So they probably just conveniently ‘ignored’ the fact I didn’t do the exam.
OK, I fold on the exam cowshitting stakes.
You win. Totally.
I must admit, I should have tried the ‘not taking it’ concept.
The straight-As (except for PE) became a bore, where do you go from there? Sure, I could have put the effort into PE, but I could not be arsed. Which was why I failed dismally at PE, they kind of noticed that I couldn’t be arsed with the whole sport thing.
When they forced us to play tennis, whereby it was so hot our tennis shoes kept sticking to the asphalt, I kept lobbing the ball outside the enclosure to get relief from the heat on the grass outside. This apparently showed some sort of lack of dedication to do ridiculous sporty things in unbearable heat. Go figure.
Oh I’m sorry I win on the tennis stakes as well though.
PE teacher: “Why aren’t you learning to serve cowblog?” (cowblog is sitting down on the tennis court displaying the lack of athleticism for which she would later become (in)famous)
Cowblog “Well all things considered, Ms, I don’t think it will be any use to me in my future life”
PE teacher: (scandalized) ” Do you REALLY mean you’re NEVER going to play tennis again after you’ve left school?”
Cowblog - (unrepeatable)
Moral of this story - you can’t beat Cowblog. Many have tried but none have succeeded. Ask the straight couple seeking the threesome.
Look, listen and take heed…..
Oh and I forgot SW - R v is pronounced ‘Crown and’. It’s law - it doesn’t make any sense.
I am sure I have more rebellous PE stories, but I think I have blanked them out for sanity.
I recall a lot of stubborn stormy not doing what PE teacher wanted at any given. Because it didn’t make any sense (whatever PE teacher wanted). It goes way back to ‘grade’ (primary) school whereby stormy did not think running up and down with a stick was very useful. Go figure.
Strangely, 40 years later, running up and down with a stick in one’s hand, still doesn’t seem a terribly useful life skill.
Well tennis is if you’re of the standard that’s good enough to win lucrative tournaments, but otherwise forget it.
And today’s top search terms are….
fat woman v.s. drunk man (fight)
drunk sperm
Are drunk sperm less effective than sober sperm?
Their little beer bellies would make them a lot slower.
You would probably have to do some kind of double blind test, give some sperm beer and others that crappy non alchoholic lager to find out really…and then do a chi squared test and publish the whole thing in a peer reviewed journal….
Yes. And you could secure some secret funding from CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale), and waddayaknow, *magically* it would be scientifically *proven* that drunk sperm are not only as effective as sober sperm, but far more ‘manly’.
Do not mock Camra Stormy, I know plenty of women who are members. And to be fair most of the men who belong are more beard and sandals and copy of the Guardian than macho types - one bloke I work with who wrote a well regarded book on the history of pubs, lives near Hebden Bridge and knows more lesbians than I do. But they did come up with the infamous ‘third’ of a pint glass to encourage laydeez to drink ale, which was a bit sexist, though they then tried to pretend it was to promote responsible drinking. (What that? - ed)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/aug/07/drink.gender
Top search term Evahh…..
“BDSM Cheltenham”
Nooooo………
And though I continue to get squillions of searches for ‘dr Alan Tutin’ and ‘Judith Butler queer theory’ - doctor haters and students coming top again, I did like “drunk straight men on line now”. Only in your dreams dearie.
Now I’ve got “Gary Lineker Jewish”? Why?
Oh and “is it safe to go to bed after being drunk”. Probably…..nearly all my searches that aren’t Dr Alan Tutin and Judith Butler contain the word ‘drunk’. Oh dear….
Oh and to my latest searchers:
1) I have no idea if Lily Cole is bisexual or not. Why not write to her and ask?
2) You can buy Derriere magazine from Ann Summers if you really want to. But not here.
Oh and to the man who was searching for “hardcore tiny illegal teens”
Rot in hell eh?
Tiny?
What, like pocket-sized?!
“is Ann Summers strict on ID to buy vibrator”?
I think we’ve established the answer to that is probably no….